Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
