Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
