i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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