Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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