Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
