yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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