it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
