I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
