she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
