I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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