I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize