I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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