It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
