I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
