Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Semen is not good for contacts.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
