It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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