jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
