I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
