So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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