Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
