brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize