Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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