No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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