I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
