covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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