wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize