Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
