This girl is more easily done than said...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
