Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
