The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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