Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he thought i was a dude.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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