Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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