this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
