once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
