I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
