I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm both gender and math confused
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
