Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize