that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
