My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize