Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she pinky promised me she was 18
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
