some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Non-Jews are for practice
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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