So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
