doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
