Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she smelled like a LAN party
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
