It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
