would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
