do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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