Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize