Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is the high leading the old right now
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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