Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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