Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
