Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
