I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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