If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
