Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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