I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I FOUND THE LEGS
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
