I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
