If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
