pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize