is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
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