He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
